


Ice Ice Baby

by SwanFloatieKnight



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Scientists, Antarctica, Boys Kissing, Cuddling & Snuggling, Enemies to Lovers, Friendship, Getting Together, M/M, Merlioske-friendly, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Penguins, Pining, References to Shakespeare, Shakespeare Quotations, Sharing a Room, expedition - Freeform, no beta we die like men, well a tent to be exact
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-01
Updated: 2020-12-24
Packaged: 2021-03-10 02:26:56
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 24
Words: 11,689
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27806794
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SwanFloatieKnight/pseuds/SwanFloatieKnight
Summary: An AU in which Merlin and Arthur are scientists on an expedition to Antarctica led by Leon Knight. They know each other a little, as well as you know a colleague that works at a different university and that you also know you don't get on with.Now, they are not only stuck in the middle of an icy hell planet, they are also stuck with one another - in one tent.Also a Merthur Advent Calendar :)
Relationships: Gwaine/Percival (Merlin), Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Comments: 213
Kudos: 136





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [larksuibian](https://archiveofourown.org/users/larksuibian/gifts), [rialtoir](https://archiveofourown.org/users/rialtoir/gifts).



> Sooooo my very spontaneous and very improvised attempt of writing an advent calendar! I shouldn't, I don't have the time, but here I am lol
> 
> I watched one (1) documentary about scientists in Antarctica tonight and a friend watched it too and I decided to write a Merthur AU about it. All my knowledge about the science addressed in this fic as well as living in a camp in Antarctica are solely based on this documentary so this will probably be pretty inaccurate. Oh well. It's a fanfic.
> 
> Chapters may vary in length depending on how busy, tired or motivated I will be. I have an outline, but as stated above I only came up with this idea on Monday night, I have nothing pre-written. I hope I will keep up the posting schedule of one chapter per day though! Even though there might be a lot of filler-chapters, but I'll try to make them fun too :)
> 
> For rialtoir for the inspiration! This fic should be yours <3 but you know if one day you decide to write another fic in this setting I will gladly read it! <3 no matter what pairing it is <3  
> also title credits go to you <3 my lovely friend
> 
> For larkidjunpepfurgwen because you did an amazing job betaing my holiday exchange fic <3 thanks a lot for that

A/N: I posted this fic on Ao3, and on Ao3 alone. If you read this on any other website or platform, please consider that I did not consent to this.

* * *

“Elyan, you will share your tent with Lancelot, Percival and Gwaine go together, Gwen and Morgana, I’ll share my tent with Mordred, and Merlin and Arthur, you take the last one.” Leon looked around. “We’ll arrive at the coast soon. There’s a plane waiting for us that’ll take us to Davis Ward, along with our provisions. As soon as we got everything out of the plane we will set up the tents. I’ll assign your duties to you once we’re landed. Does anyone have any questions?”

Of course, Arthur the swot raised his hand. “Do I really have to share my tent with Merlin? He’s such a – ”

“Shut it, Arthur!” Leon lifted his eyebrow and gave him a sharp look. “You will have to work together for seven months now, and with together I mean together. If you can’t do that, both of you can just stay on the plane and go back home. We’re here to work. Does anyone have any real questions?”

All of them shook their head, and with a final “Good!” Leon sat down again and looked out of the window.

Merlin shifted in his chair nervously. Sharing a tent with Arthur, that prat, was the last thing he had hoped for. As soon as he had gotten the news that Arthur Pendragon would also join the expedition to Antarctica he had considered withdrawing. But this was his childhood dream that he had spent all his adult life working on. He would have been damned if he hadn’t taken this chance only because of one Arthur Pendragon. Merlin had decided to just ignore him as well as he could and try to not let Arthur make his life miserable. With the perspective of sharing a tent, and thereby the last bit of privacy he possibly had, he saw his chances of ignoring Arthur shrinking rapidly.

It was half an hour before the predicted arrival when he decided to make a last phone call to his mother. He got up, took the satellite phone with him and dialed.

The connection was awful as usual, but it was sufficient to understand most of what his mother said. Merlin only hoped that she understood as much in return.

“Yes… we’re nearly there. Half an hour, maybe… no, then we’ll go on by plane. Listen, mum… Yes, I have to share my tent with Arthur Pendragon, can you imagine?” He listened to her cryptic response and tried to filter out some words. “Yes, he’s the one I complained about… Yes, that’s him. So if I should be back sooner, you’ll know why…” He sighed heavily. “Of course I will try to ‘have fun’, but I’m mostly here to work, mum. Plus I’m here with Pendragon and even have to share a tent with him! … No. No, maybe it won’t be too bad. Ok listen, I guess I’ll have to hang up now, Leon’s walking towards me waving all excitedly. Yes, I’ll call you again, in a few days or weeks or something. When I find the time… Love you too, mum… I’ll take care of myself, of course. Bye!”

When he hung up and the deafening silence of the Antarctic ocean filled his ears once more he heaved a heavy sigh. He was as ready to face this expedition as he would ever be, and Leon was a good leader who knew how to handle a Pendragon. He would show Arthur his place if needed. Merlin would try not to focus on Arthur too much as long as he still could. As he had told his mum he was here to work. And seven months were not forever. They would pass, eventually.

Seven months, trapped in one tent with Arthur Pendragon. His childhood dream was truly about to become his adult life nightmare.


	2. Chapter 2

> Diary of Arthur Pendragon
> 
> _28 th September_
> 
> It has been two days since we arrived at Davis Ward and it is less terrible than expected. Not that I expected it to be terrible… I am in a place where I have always wanted to be, doing the job I love and sharing a tent with Merlin. That is actually what makes this trip both wonderful and horrible. Because not only have I had a crush on him since I met him for the first time on that conference in Stockholm where he gave that presentation and I was just… stunned by how clever he is. He’s brilliant, really. Wouldn’t be surprised if he ended up with a professor’s chair in only a few years. And he would deserve it. More than anyone else I know.
> 
> My problem is that I live in constant fear of embarrassing myself in front of him. And it really doesn’t help that he already hates me. I mean, I even get it. Kind of. I probably would be jealous too if I was him, seeing how hard he works to achieve all this, and then looking at me who just… well, it’s not like I didn’t work for my achievements. Harder than most, probably. Except for Merlin, that swot. But yes, it might look like everything has been so much easier for me to get into science, with my father working for the ESA and my uncle being a professor in Cambridge. Yes, I get that. Totally. But that doesn’t give him the right to hate me! Or does it?
> 
> I worked for my degrees, I applied for my jobs like anyone else. And yes, maybe some people might be in awe when they see the name Pendragon. But let’s be honest, the name Emrys is just as well known in our area. And unlike me he really can say for himself that he achieved this all on his own. Not through contacts.
> 
> Sometimes I really don’t understand him. And yet I love him. Because how could you not love this wonderful, smart, funny, handsome, _perfect_ man? He’s sleeping next to me at the moment, I hope he won’t wake up. He might make fun of me. Call me a girl’s petticoat or something, I don’t know. Or he might just not lose a word about it. Whatever, I don’t want him to judge me for keeping a diary.
> 
> I wonder how working together with him will be over the next months. It has already been exhausting over the last two days, Merlin is nice to everyone but just doesn’t talk to me. Not when we are in our tent together, and only the bare minimum when we’re working together. Sometimes it feels like I’m back in kindergarten. I’m just waiting for him to pull a move like “Gwen, can you tell Arthur to hand me the samples” when I’m sitting right next to him.
> 
> Why did I have to crush on the one person on this expedition that hates me? Dear brain and heart, please, next time crush on Gwen or Lancelot or another reasonable person because this Merlin Emrys is driving me crazy.

With a sigh Arthur closed the notebook and stowed away his pen. He threw a quick look over to Merlin’s sleeping bag but nothing stirred there. Good. He really seemed to be sleeping. Arthur hid the diary in his own sleeping bag inside the pile of two t-shirts that he used as a pillow. Then he laid down, pulled the zip up over his face to stave off both the cool air and the bright midnight sun and closed his eyes.


	3. Chapter 3

Gwen poured herself another cup of steaming hot tea and looked at Morgana and Merlin. “You want some, too?”

“Not for me, thanks.”

Merlin shook his head, but Morgana accepted the offer with a grateful nod. She then took a biscuit out of a box next to her sleeping bag and took a bite. With her mouth full she asked Merlin:

“So, what has Arthur done this time that drove you out of your tent again? One could think you would want to move in here. Not that we'd mind.”

Merlin just shrugged. “I would if this was an actual possibility. But at least here I can look over my reports and go through our calculations in peace.”

“Why’s this? Is my brother wanking too loudly?” Morgana raised an eyebrow, Gwen nearly spit out her tea but supressed her loud laugh and Merlin blushed.

“No! No, it’s even worse.”

“It is worse than… God, what could Arthur possibly have done to you, you poor soul?” Gwen’s pity was teasing. Merlin pouted.

“He snores.”

“He… snores. And that’s so bad?” Gwen exchanged an amused look with Morgana.

“Hey, I need to concentrate!”

“And that works better if you’re here. I mean, that’s fine, you can stay with us all the time you want but how have you managed to sleep for the past two weeks?”

“First, I have earplugs, and second, when I’m trying to sleep I can just ignore him. But when I’m trying to check those calculations I can’t.”

Morgana gave him a sweet smile. “Just do it in the morning, Merlin. Get some sleep. Don’t overwork yourself. And I’m sure Arthur will miss you if you don’t sleep by his side.” Her smile turned into a mischievous grin.

Merlin put his papers away with a weary sigh. “For sure he will. I bet he’s already crying into his pillow because I’m not around.”

“Exactly. Now go to sleep. See you tomorrow.”

“You really are no help, you know that.”

“Yep, that’s what friends are for.”

Gwen gave Merlin a short hug while he awkwardly put on his boots and jacket and then left their tent. They could hear his steps crunching through the dry snow until he reached his and Arthur’s tent. Then Gwen looked at Morgana and shook her head.

“These two… do you think they will see reason before the end of this expedition?”

Morgana shrugged. “They’re both stubborn as hell. I’m not sure. In cases of emergency I’ll ask Leon if I can swap my place with Merlin and sleep in Arthur’s tent. But for now I have to admit it’s fun to see my baby brother suffer.”

“You’re evil, Gana.” Gwen grinned. She emptied her cup and crawled into her sleeping bag. “But who knows, maybe we all will do them a favour by forcing them together.”

“Oh, that’s for sure. They just don’t know it yet. But I’m sure they will. Eventually.”

“If you say so… Night, Gana.”

“Night, Gwen.”


	4. Chapter 4

> _14 th October_
> 
> Oh god. I really fucked it up this time. After tonight Merlin will never even so much as look at me, I’m certain. And the worst thing about it is that, yes, he’s probably overreacting, that’s what Leon told him, but also, I get him. I would be mad too if my tentmate (is that an acceptable word for a flatmate that you share a tent with? I don’t know) spilled tomato sauce all over my sleeping bag in a pathetic attempt to cook dinner.
> 
> I mean, I should probably be glad that I didn’t set anything on fire. There’s a reason why I let Merlin do the cooking for the past weeks. I’m just really bad with it. I am always scared to burn down the kitchen with my electric stove at home. And here we have gas and open flames and are inside a tent. A fireproof tent, but a tent nonetheless. I mean we don’t have that fire extinguisher around for nothing.
> 
> Well but tonight Merlin was really busy finishing some reports together with Gwaine and I thought I might be nice and I heated some tomato sauce so that Merlin could make the pasta once he returned and we would only have to re-heat the sauce. I don’t actually know how I managed to knock over the pot, but I did and now Merlin’s sleeping bag is half wet and smelling of tomatoes and onions. And that’s why he’s mad, and I totally get that. I would be mad at me, too.
> 
> But he’s not just mad. He hasn’t spoken a word ever since the discovery and my confession that I spilled the tomato sauce and a bit of shouting at me. He has just gone quiet. I have offered him to swap sleeping bags several times so that at least he would have it warm tonight, but he didn’t answer. We had bread and butter for dinner.
> 
> Well, so I really have fucked up things now, and I guess I deserve him ignoring me. At least a bit. But it still hurts, and I hope that either I can make it up to him or that at least Leon will talk some kind of reason into him. So that he at least talks to me when I ask him if he wants some tea.

Arthur shut his diary and put it away. When he crawled into his sleeping bag tonight and closed it over his face to shut out the light and the smell of tomato sauce he couldn’t sleep for a long while. He still felt bad about the whole incident, he felt sorry for Merlin but mostly he hurt. It hurt that Merlin was now blatantly ignoring him. It also hurt that he hadn’t even taken up his offer on reconciliation. And mostly it hurt because that way Arthur would never feel confident enough to confess his crush, and it was even less likely that Merlin would ever return his feelings.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you don't get sick of Arthur's diary entries XD I have far too much fun writing them tbh. But don't worry, there will only be like 5 or 6 in the end xD


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know sh*t about penguins and science and living and researching in Antarctica, so sorry if there are inaccuracies lol.

Lancelot liked the sound the snow made beneath his boots. It was an almost screeching sound, nothing like the snow at home sounded like. He liked the dry smell of the air, too. And what he liked best was Elyan’s cheerful presence next to him.

The two biologists were on their way to a colony of Adélie penguins. They had left their snowmobiles a little behind as not to scare them off and were now walking the last short distance. Their plan was to tag a few of them with GPS trackers to learn more about how climate change and the resulting changes in their environment affected their migration, the length and directions of the routes they had to cover in order to find enough food.

After a few minutes of silent walking Elyan broke the silence. “Is Merlin still not speaking with Arthur after the tomato sauce incident?”

Lance shrugged. “As far as I know, well, it’s back to the amount of talking he did before. Which isn’t much, but at least he’s not ignoring Arthur completely anymore.”

“Jesus.” Elyan shook his head. “Why can’t they just talk about it like normal people?”

“Not everyone’s relationship is as perfect as Gwaine and Percival’s, you know?”

“Oh, sure. They’re the dream I wish to live myself one day. But it would definitely help if some people just talked a bit more. Some _certain_ people.” He laughed.

“So you, too, think that there’s more to this situation than meets the eye?”

“Well, you know Merlin far better than I do, but talking about Arthur… damn, that poor puppy has this lovestruck look in his eyes. I always thought Percival was bad, but Arthur… that’s another level.”

“It’s a wonder that Merlin hasn’t noticed it yet,” Lancelot agreed.

“Or he’s chosen to ignore it, who knows?”

“Merlin? Oh, no.” Now it was Lancelot’s turn to laugh. “If you ask me, Merlin’s just oblivious. Not only about Arthur’s feelings for him but mostly about his own feelings for Arthur.”

“So you think he does have feelings for Arthur? You know, on some days I look at him and it’s like… yes, that guy is really head over heels for Arthur. And on others he looks like he genuinely hates Arthur.”

“Trust me, I know Merlin well enough. We went to High School together, after all. Oh god.” He suddenly stopped.

Elyan halted, too, turned around and looked at Lancelot with concern. “Are you all right?”

“I just noticed… if they get this mess worked out during their forced tent sharing adventure… they might stick even closer together than Percy and Gwaine did during their honeymoon phase.”

“Damn. Now I’m no longer sure if I want them to work it out.” Elyan wrinkled his nose.

“Yeah, we would be doomed,” Lancelot joked before he changed the topic: “Do you already know what we shall have for dinner tonight?”


	6. Chapter 6

The first thing that Merlin noticed when he crawled out of his tent this morning was a very colourful patch of some cloth that someone must have tied to the guy rope while he and Arthur were still having breakfast and not saying anything to each other. He blinked, squinted, then frowned. It was a pride flag. A plain and boring rainbow pride flag. Merlin turned around.

“Arthur!”

“What?” came the muffled answer from within the tent where Arthur was still struggling to put on his warm clothes.

“Did you do this?”

“Did I do what?”

“Some very funny prankster thought it would be funny to put a pride flag on our tent. Was it you?”

“Why would I do this?” Now Arthur’s head appeared, all dressed up with a woollen hat and snow goggles. “Oh. It looks nice though.”

Merlin snorted. “It does definitely not look nice. What’s the meaning of this? That we’re together or what?”

Arthur shrugged. “I can’t tell you, I didn’t put it there.” ‘But would that be so bad?’ he asked himself. No, not to him. He quite liked the intention. In a way. It made him hope. And fear.

“So you didn’t do this.”

“I swear. Seriously I have more important things to take with me on an Antarctica expedition than a pride flag. What for? You all know that I’m bi already and there’s literally no one else around in a five hundred miles radius.”

“Right.” Merlin rolled his eyes and stomped off to their right. “Gwaine! You bastard, move your ass over here! Why did you do this?”

> _24 th October_
> 
> God I can’t believe that Gwaine and Mordred really thought they had to stick a pride flag to our tent. So that we would finally find out what’s going on when they put it up right in front of our noses. Wonder what we should find out. I’m openly bi, Merlin is openly queer. Maybe it has slipped their notice though that he hates me. Oh well.
> 
> I actually wonder why he was so fucking angry about all this. It was nearly as bad as when I spilled the tomato sauce a week ago. But I think Leon sorted him out this afternoon. He looked a bit meeker at dinner. I’m actually starting to become hopeful. Maybe we can just live together as civilised adults from now on, without constant bitching at each other.

When Arthur put his diary away this evening he didn’t quite know how to feel about all that had happened today. At first he had been shocked about Merlin’s outburst, somewhat fearing that he might be homophobic and therefore acting like this. Then he remembered (or rather was remembered as Merlin shouted it into Gwaine’s face) that Merlin himself was queer and it was not about the fact that it was a pride flag but rather what it might imply. That he and Arthur were together. How could anyone assume this.

Yes, how?

Arthur really hoped that this wasn’t all his lovestruck brain telling him signs that weren’t there. Because if he was quite honest, Merlin had blushed a little at these words, and not only from the cold.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> have more gossiping scientists xD  
> next chapter will be more Merlin-centric again, promise

“Thanks for helping me with this,” Percival smiled and passed the calculator to Elyan.

“Ah, no worries. I’m free anyways and it’s not like this is hard work.”

“No, just boring. And tiring.” Percival noted some numbers on a chart. “Do you want to stay for dinner? I don’t think Gwaine would mind.”

Elyan shook his head. “Thanks for the offer, but Lancelot’s roasting fish tonight.”

“Damn, now I’m jealous. I hope Gwaine won’t burn the bread again, this morning I really feared we might have to use that fire extinguisher after all.”

Elyan laughed. “I wonder why you still let him do the cooking.”

“I wonder too.” Percival sighed. “After the six years that we’ve been together…”

“At least you didn’t make a fuss about it like Merlin did with the tomato sauce.”

“Oh god, yes.” Percival reached for his cup of tea and looked at Elyan. “You want some, too?” He filled another cup for his friend before he added: “But I think he will eventually calm down. Especially after the pride flag incident yesterday.”

“Leon roasted the shit out of him, Lancelot told me.” Elyan sipped his tea. “And honestly, he deserved it. A bit. As much as I like him, he’s behaving oddly about this whole situation.”

“Right?!” Percival looked up from his papers. “Glad that I’m not the only one thinking it. I mean no matter how badly you get on there’s no reason to freak out like this over a harmless prank.”

“I mean, we all know that probably everyone here is gay, right?” Elyan laughed and Percival joined him. “Lancelot and I have the theory that he’s secretly crushing on Arthur and just can’t admit it because it would hurt his pride too much.”

“Mh.” Percival nodded in agreement. “I mean, it’s probably pretty obvious that Arthur is crushing on Merlin. Except for Merlin, apparently. Or he just tries to ignore it. But what I actually think is that Merlin just hasn’t realised himself that he’s crushing on Arthur.”

“Also possible.” Elyan shrugged. “Whatever it is, I hope he will see it eventually and spare all of us the drama.”

“I think he will. Merlin is usually quite reasonable. I don’t know what it is about him now.”

“Probably the hormones.” Elyan winked.

“Hear, hear, the biologist is speaking.” Percival stretched his back and put his pencil away. “I just hope that they won’t need any more help from Gwaine to figure out their relationship, one way or another. Because whatever the result may be, there’ll be less drama if he isn’t involved.”

“True words.”

Later that evening, when Elyan sat at dinner with Lancelot he was still thinking about his talk with Percival. Whatever Merlin’s problem with Arthur was, besides the obvious ‘I’m low-key jealous and also accusing you of not working for your degrees because your professor-father got you all your jobs’, he hoped that Merlin would sort it out soon, and that Arthur could stop pining. They all hoped it, and not just for their own sakes.


	8. Chapter 8

After almost two months here in Antarctica Merlin was more than happy to hear his mum’s voice again. Hunith sounded worried, but then she always did when Merlin was on expeditions and she didn’t hear from him for weeks or months. Yet it made Merlin laugh that her first question was and would probably always be: “How are the studies going?”

“Great, thanks. And how is it going at home?”

“Oh, the usual. I’m fine, your grandma is fine, too, Kilgharrah has tried to eat the wire of my computer yesterday but is fine nonetheless.”

That made Merlin laugh even more. “God, this dog.”

“He misses you though. Hopes you’ll come back to him soon.”

“I can imagine… say hi to him from me, and pet him. I miss him too.” Merlin sighed. “And I miss you, of course,” he added quickly.

“Of course you do.” He could hear Hunith’s smile through the phone. “But tell me, how are things over there, at the other end of the world? The work, the food, you?”

And Merlin started talking. He told her about Lancelot and Elyan’s penguin studies, not without adding that he wished he could show her how close he had gotten to see real penguins, out here, in the wilderness! He also mentioned his own studies, the samples of stone and ice that Gwen, Arthur and he took to see how the ground had changed over time and how it was affected by climate change. He didn’t go into too much detail as he didn’t want to bore her, but he loved his mum for her ability to genuinely listen to him no matter how scientific his talk became.

But then he concluded his update and she couldn’t restrain from adding: “So, you haven’t even complained about Arthur. I take that as a good sign then?”

Merlin rolled his eyes. He was happy that she didn’t see the blush spreading across his face. “Well, no, actually, he’s a terrible room mate. Tent mate. Whatever. He spilled tomato sauce on my sleeping bag, can you imagine?”

“Seems to be a real gentleman!” Hunith laughed. “And besides?”

“Well, besides… I don’t really know.” He paused for a second. “Okay, okay, maybe you’re right and he’s not all that terrible.”

“See? I told you so.”

“But Mum, I think I’ll have to hang up now. Mordred wants me to look at some data I guess.”

“Have a nice day then! It was nice to hear you, honey. To know that you’re well.”

“Yes, you too. Bye, Mum.”

“Bye, Merlin.”

Truth be told, there was no Mordred wanting Merlin to look at some data. There were only his own thoughts, and admittedly his own bad conscience. It was true, Arthur had done nothing wrong except for maybe spilling tomato sauce. By accident. It had been unfortunate and Arthur had apologised. He had even offered his own sleeping bag to Merlin. His mother was right, Arthur was a gentleman.

But he had been too stubborn, too jealous, too prejudiced to see that. Merlin ran his hand over his face. Well, maybe he would be lucky. Maybe it wasn’t too late yet. If he somehow managed to apologise for his shitty behaviour…

He would do that. He had to. He owed Arthur as much. He only had to wait for the right moment. But such a moment would certainly come.


	9. Chapter 9

> _25 th November_
> 
> Something has changed in the last few days. I’m not sure what exactly it is or was, but Merlin’s been acting differently and a bit strange. I didn’t see Leon talking to him, but maybe he did. That’s the best explanation I can come up with.
> 
> Because suddenly, Merlin is so very nice! I mean, he’s putting on a normal amount of nice-ness, but for him and considering how the situation has been before it’s extraordinary. This morning he smiled at me when I woke up, and while he roasted some bread he even asked if I slept well. I mean, we almost had an actual conversation over breakfast!
> 
> I’m not sure what to make of this. Of course I’m happy that whatever miracle has happened has apparently put Merlin into a better mood of some sorts and made him more talkative and especially friendlier. But I’m definitely not sure if I can survive a friendly and talkative Merlin without horribly embarrassing myself at some point. What am I supposed to say if he asks me about anything private? Like hobbies or friends or I don’t know, my family? What if he wants to talk about our jobs? Oh god what if I make him hate me again?
> 
> I’m so afraid to mess anything up. And I can’t even know for certain yet if he might eventually hypothetically be interested in having more than a friendship with me. Why must my life hate me so much? Oh well, I should probably be grateful that at least it’s no longer Merlin who hates me.

That night Arthur was lying awake for a long time once again, hoping against hope that Merlin would return his feelings. Maybe not right away, but eventually. They had talked today, about things that had nothing to do with science and their jobs. Merlin had smiled at him over breakfast, and had smiled at him again when he had told him “Good night”. Oh, the fact alone that he had told him Good night!

Arthur pressed his diary to his chest. For the first time since he had been on the ship to Antarctica he was going to bed with the giddy happiness of a kid that was excited the night before its birthday or Christmas. Because he was excited, and he was happy, and all the happiness made his heart ache. He couldn’t help it, no matter how hard he tried to convince himself that he shouldn’t get too excited about it.

Yes, they had talked, and yes, Merlin had opened up a little towards him. He knew he shouldn’t read too much into it, he wasn’t a teenager anymore who could maybe pine after his crush for months and still have hope. He was an adult, for god’s sake!

But he couldn’t help it. He wished it was tomorrow already. Maybe tomorrow Merlin would smile at him again.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so, so sorry for the late update :c I got caught up with reading for Uni last night and I just... completely forgot about this fic :c hope I may be forgiven

“Hello, my dear brother! How nice of you to bless us with your presence!” Gwen couldn’t resist and pulled Elyan into a tight hug. In return Elyan ruffled his sister’s hair fondly.

Next to them Morgana sighed. “If only Arthur would have ever been so affectionate.”

“Well, your loss,” Elyan grinned. “But let me know more about that cooking of yours. It must be really awesome if I shall abandon Lancelot’s dinner for it.”

Gwen blew a strand of hair out of her face and smiled. “Well, we may not be able to compete with Lancelot, but we can offer our company.”

“Exactly, who wouldn’t want to spend an evening with the two of us. We’re so charming.” Morgana blinked at Elyan who started laughing.

The dinner Gwen cooked was good, even though Elyan couldn’t resist but tell her that Lancelot would certainly have done it better what led to her playfully slapping him with her spoon.

Elyan wrinkled his nose and wiped the sauce from his cheek. “Thank you. I guess I deserve it… But now, what is this about Merlin and Arthur? Do you know why all of a sudden they seem to get on? At least a bit?”

“Oh, so you’re coming here just for the gossip.” Gwen grinned.

“We don’t know either,” Morgana shrugged. “I mean, it’s not like Arthur and I would be talking overly much.”

“Oh, okay. Lancelot and I were debating and wanted to know who of us was right.”

“And what were your guesses?”

“Well, either they have finally found common sense and are now ready to behave like adults, or they finally kissed.”

“Oh god, I hope it is certainly not the latter,” Morgana chuckled. “Arthur pining is bad enough already. Arthur in love might be even more unbearable. And having family dinners with Merlin?”

“Oh, there could be worse. Don’r you want to date him, maybe?” Gwen looked at Elyan. “He would be more fun than you.”

“You are some sassy brat tonight, Gwen.” Elyan grabbed his sister around the waist and started tickling her. Gwen yelped and erupted in a fit of laughter that Morgana and her brother eventually joined in.

Over all the laughter it took them a moment to hear the voice calling outside the tent, but there definitely was someone calling for “Gwen!”, and that someone was clearly Merlin.

Their laughter stilled and they looked at each other almost guiltily. “Speak of the devil,” Morgana muttered under her breath.

“Yes, Merlin? Do you want to come in?”

Merlin’s face appeared in the entrance. “Hello Elyan, Morgana.” He offered them a smile. “I had rather hoped you might come out? I wanted to talk to you.”

Gwen smiled at him. “Sure, give me a few minutes.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> But you get a little cliff hanger in return XD


	11. Chapter 11

When Gwen came out Merlin was pacing a little impatiently. He was nervous, but he smiled at her. “Can we walk around for a bit? I don’t necessarily want the others to listen.”

“Of course. What is it that you want to discuss in private?” Gwen offered him a kind smile.

Merlin heaved a sigh. “It’s Arthur.” When he saw her eyebrows rising behind her snow goggles he quickly added: “Not in the way you might think though!”

“Oh yes? What is the way I might think, and how is it different?”

“I don’t want to complain about him. I… I feel like talking to you about… look, I’m pretty sure I have messed things up horribly with him and I’m sorry. I really am. I have realised that I have been a total dollophead and a real ass towards him and I wish I could make it up to him. I have no idea how, though.”

“Well, at least you notice it now.”

“Yes, yes, but please tell me, what could I do? I mean I can’t really buy him flowers or anything round here.”

“Why would you buy him flowers?” Gwen chuckled.

“I don’t know, as an apology?”

“Have you actually tried saying ‘I’m sorry about my earlier behaviour, Arthur. It was wrong and I hope you accept my apology’?”

“Well, no, not yet, but that would go along with whatever flower substitute I can find.”

“Oh. All right.” Gwen thought for a moment. “Why don’t you cook dinner for him? I know you’re already cooking most of the time but do it nicely this time. Prepare something special for him. And then tell him you’re sorry and you want to make it up for him. If there’s anything you can do for him he’ll tell you, I’m sure. Or should I ask Morgana?”

“Oh, no, please… I think that will be fine. Thank you, Gwen.” Merlin gave his best friend a short but heartfelt hug. “I’ll let you know how it went.”

“Not like there is even the slightest chance I will miss anything.” She winked at him. “But sure, go ahead, I’m happy to hear it all.”

“Good, I’ll be heading back now I guess. It’s getting cold.”

“You don’t say.”

They exchanged another smile before Gwen added: “Good night, Merlin. Sleep well. And ask Lancelot if you need any dinner inspiration, according to Elyan he’s the best chef around.”

“I know. Thanks. And sleep well.”

When Merlin went back to his tent he felt quite confident and at ease. Tomorrow he would finally settle this sweltering conflict. Hopefully. He could only hope that Arthur would forgive him his stubbornness and impoliteness. If not… well, he knew exactly that he alone would be to blame for it. He really hoped that Arthur was a better person than he was.


	12. Chapter 12

Arthur stared after Merlin after he had left the tent for approximately twelve minutes. It took him that long to collect his thoughts and breathe deeply a few times. Merlin was gone, said he needed to take a few steps outside, some fresh air (who was he kidding though, it was freezing outside, no wonder, they were in Antarctica after all), maybe go for a little walk. Arthur was certain that he would go and talk to Gwen, they had been best friends since school.

Whatever the two of them would discuss, Arthur was certain that it wouldn’t be too bad. First, because he knew Gwen, and second, because Merlin had been so ridiculously nice to him. For the whole day!

> _27 th November_
> 
> Merlin cooked dinner and he talked to me! Nothing too special at first, we talked about the weather and our research and the tests we were running at the moment. I mean I was already thrilled about that, he didn’t talk to me at all for almost two months. And then he actually asked me about myself! He asked about the book I had brought that I was reading and if it was fun and if I enjoyed reading and suddenly we had a discourse going on about Shakespeare and the plays we read back in school.
> 
> He told me how he had always headcanoned Macduff’s parents as queer. ‘Not born of woman, I swear, the only real explanation can be that he has two dads and one of them is trans.’ And I love his theory. I really do. Maybe I can write a little something for him, as a Christmas present. It’s not like I could give him anything else, and I hope he would like it. Let’s see if I find the time.
> 
> At least I know now that Merlin likes Shakespeare and that I will never be able to think of Shakespeare again without thinking of him…
> 
> _Doubt thou the stars are fire,_   
>  _Doubt that the sun doth move,_   
>  _Doubt truth to be a liar,_   
>  _But never doubt I love._

When Arthur heard steps approaching outside the tent he hastily put away his diary, grabbed his book and pretended to be reading. He exchanged a short smile with Merlin though while he undressed, and when Merlin went to sleep he wished him a good night again, what made Arthur all giddy and happy and nervous. So nervous in fact that it took him some hours to finally fall asleep, and when he finally did, he dreamt of Shakespeare.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Shakespeare quote is from Hamlet II, 2, and I have loved this scene but also in general the whole play since I was 14 and read it for the first time <3 <3 <3
> 
> Also the Macbeth Headcanon is my own and I might write this one day. As a... 33rd fandom or sth. Bc I haven't written a fic about Macbeth yet. Ehm. Yes. Feel free to lmk what you think about it though!


	13. Chapter 13

The next day started uneventfully for a bystander, but for Arthur it was actually great. Great, because Merlin was there, Merlin was still talking to him and smiling at him and that made his day significantly better.

During the day Leon told them that a storm would be coming in the evening, a storm that would last a few days. Nothing too bad, but nothing too pleasant either. Secretly Arthur thanked all gods and divine powers out there that the storm hadn’t hit them a week earlier. Being stuck in a tent pretty much all day was bad enough already. Being stuck in a tent with your crush was worse. But nothing could ever be as bad as being stuck in your tent with your unrequited crush who happened to hate you. At least from this fate he would be spared.

In the evening Merlin surprised him with dinner. Not with the fact that he did cook dinner, as since the tomato sauce incident Arthur was only allowed near the cooker to make tea, but with what he cooked. Somehow he had gotten Lancelot’s special roasted fish recipe and even some of his special spices. And it might not taste exactly as great as it did when Lancelot cooked it, but it was still delicious. Probably the most delicious dinner he had had since he left England, and that’s what Arthur told Merlin.

Merlin laughed at these words. “Oh, I’m glad you enjoyed it! Because, actually I wanted to talk to you… about… things.”

“Things?” Arthur raised an eyebrow.

“Things.” Merlin put away his plate. His fingers started fidgeting his sleeping bag nervously.

Arthur could feel his own heartbeat speeding up, he felt it pulsating somewhere in his throat. His hands were sweaty. He stared at Merlin, waiting, hoping for an answer, and at the same time dreading it. He kept his eyes fixed on Merlin. When after a few deep breaths Merlin still didn’t say anything he asked: “Yes? What things?”

“I… I wanted to apologise.”

“Oh.” Arthur felt his heart drop down to his knees in something that felt like relief and disappointment at the same time. Yet he also wanted to slap himself. What had he expected? A proposal? “Well, it’s fine.”

“No, it’s not. I treated you awfully. I behaved like an ass, and I’m sorry about that. Honestly. I’m trying to make this up to you, I wish I could do more but my means are limited at the moment,” Merlin rambled on.

“No, really, it’s fine. Apology accepted.” Arthur smiled at him. “Let’s just… I don’t know, try to forget about this for now. And if you still want to make this up to me somehow, you can do so after we’re back in London.”

“All right. Thank you.” Merlin returned his smile.

Through the following silence they could hear the wind outside their tent grow stronger.


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> pretty short but i like it :)

The storm outside had been growing louder and louder over the past few hours. At first Morgana and Gwen had chatted on merrily, then they had grown a little concerned and decided that work tomorrow would probably be cancelled, and finally they had gone to sleep.

That meant Gwen had gone to sleep. Morgana was lying awake, staring into the darkness. The storm was raging, she had to speak up if she wanted Gwen to have a realistic chance to understand her.

Not that it mattered much, Gwen was probably fast asleep. Why was her best friend blessed with the ability to sleep soundly everywhere and every time? Morgana had to admit that she was a bit jealous.

With a sigh Morgana pressed her t-shirt-pillow to her ears. She would probably have a headache tomorrow, but that wouldn’t matter much. She wouldn’t have to work either.

“Gana?” she suddenly heard Gwen’s voice from the other side of the tent.

“Gwen? Aren’t you sleeping?” She hoped that she didn’t sound too relieved. Lying awake for half the night was awfully boring. It was always nice to have some company.

“No… I was just thinking… do you think Merlin and Arthur will both survive this storm? Or will we find one of them slaughtered in their tent come morning?”

Morgana snorted. “That totally depends on how the dinner went tonight, I guess.”

“True. Well, let’s hope for the best then. I would hate to lose my best friend.”

“And I’d hate to lose my brother.”

“Fair.”

After some more moments of storm-filled silence Gwen, now a lot sleepier, told Morgana Good Night for a second time. And this time, by some miracle, Morgana, too managed to fall asleep after less than an hour.


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> whelp, it took me forever to write this haha

“You know, Leon,” Mordred told the head of their expedition, his former PhD advisor and good friend, over dinner, “I really wonder, was it your intention to get Merlin and Arthur together when you put them in one tent? Or was it accidental?”

Leon grinned at him. “A bit of both, maybe?” He shrugged. “Mostly I had hoped that they would learn to get along. What didn’t work out so well at first because Merlin was a huge bitch and Arthur has a hopeless crush on him.”

“You didn’t know about this?”

“You did?” Leon raised an eyebrow.

“Well, I think we all suspected it to some degree. And now, just seeing him act around Merlin… It was pretty obvious.” Mordred leaned back. “You just have to see both of them in a room together. Arthur is staring at Merlin all the time, except when Merlin’s looking at him. Glaring, rather.”

“I would have had to pay attention to that to notice it.” Leon wrinkled his nose a little. “And to be fair, as long as it doesn’t affect their work I couldn’t care less about people’s personal relationships. That’s their private life. Look at Gwaine and Percival, they have never made any problems.”

“Fair.” Mordred fell silent for a while. “But I know how Merlin can be. Very petty.”

“Oh, I believe you. I just didn’t expect him to be that petty, I guess.” Leon shook his head. “But it was you who put the pride flag on their tent!”

“Gwaine, too!” Mordred lifted his hands as in defence. “Don’t blame it all on me.”

“You are a horrible bunch of amateur scientists, all of you,” Leon laughed. “One cannot work with the other because he’s jealous, the other one is pining his heart out for the first one, and the rest of you are standing in the background cheering them on, sticking pride flags everywhere and placing bets on how long it would take them to finally get together.”

“The bets were Elyan’s idea, though.” Mordred grinned sheepishly.

“Doesn’t matter.” Leon glared at him. “Why did you not take my guess?”

“I – uh, we – we’re sorry, I guess…” Mordred looked at Leon in confusion. “But if you really want to take a bet… it’s 10£, you say a date by which you think they’ll get together, whoever is closest to the actual date wins the pot.”

“All right. January 1st. Count me in.” Leon rummaged through his belongings until he found two 5£ notes that he handed over to Mordred. “What are the other’s guesses?”

Mordred folded the notes and put them away carefully.

“Morgana and Gwaine have already lost. Next one would be Lancelot who said they would get together at December 1st. Gwen said January 20th, I said by March and Elyan’s theory is that they will get together on the ship back to London.”

“All right.” Leon grinned broadly. “This sounds promising.”

The next few months had just become a lot more entertaining for him.


	16. Chapter 16

When they had finished their dinner and were just about to go to sleep Elyan laid back on his bed and heaved a deep sigh. “Tomorrow will be boring.”

“Mhh,” Lancelot agreed from the other side of the tent. “Maybe I should read my book again.”

“We could play some cards,” Elyan suggested.

“Sure, but after five hours all card games become boring.”

“Not if you play them with me.”

“If you say so.” Lancelot laughed.

“Well, we’ll see.” Elyan yawned. “I just hope this storm won’t last too long. We need to check on our samples in three days and take the data or we will have to collect new ones.”

“True.” Lancelot snuggled a little deeper into his sleeping bag. “But you know what? This storm at least makes me hopeful that I might win this bet.”

“You think Merlin and Arthur will get a little closer over the next 24 hours?” Elyan snorted. “I’m rather afraid they might start fighting again. Good for me though.”

“Ah, keep on dreaming. I bet they’re snogging in their tent right now.” Lancelot grinned.

“Tell that to yourself. They will get together in four or five months, and not a day earlier.”

“Sure. Better hope that we won’t have to get new samples in five days.” He laughed. “Good night, Elyan.”

“Good night, Lancelot. Sleep well.”


	17. Chapter 17

The storm had been raging for the whole night and most of the day, but in the evening it subsided. Percival expected to go back to work in the morning and therefore was trying to sleep early, but Gwaine wouldn’t let him.

“Percy? Percival? Are you sleeping yet?”

Percival opened his eyes. Of course Gwaine would bother him right now when he was just about to fall asleep. He sighed.

“No, I’m not. What is it?”

“I’m cold?”

It sounded like a question and Percival knew immediately that Gwaine was not actually too cold to sleep. He sighed again. “All right, come here, my little baby.”

“Hey, I’m no baby!”

“Sometimes when you start whining at night one would think otherwise,” Percival snorted, but he happily wrapped his arms around his boyfriend and kissed his forehead.

Gwaine poked his ribs. “You wouldn’t love me if I was any different.”

“You’re probably right.”

Percival closed his eyes again and tried to sleep. He enjoyed the warm presence of Gwaine in his arms very much, in some nights he missed his boyfriend even though he only had to reach out with his arm to touch his shoulder. But this wasn’t the same as cuddling.

He was just about to drift off when he heard Gwaine’s voice, this time close to his ear: “You know, this makes me think of Scott.”

“What Scott?”

“Robert Falcon Scott. Who died here over 100 years ago.”

“Can’t you think of a happier topic right before going to sleep?”

Gwaine snuggled a little closer. “At least I am confident that we won’t freeze to death like he and his men did. Poor guys. Maybe they should just have cuddled for warmth, like we do.”

“Mh, maybe.”

Again Percival hoped to get his well-deserved sleep, but not even five minutes later Gwaine spoke up again.

“Do you think Merlin and Arthur are cuddling too? In that storm? Well, have cuddled, last night. Or are cuddling tonight.”

“Why would they?”

“I don’t know, why are we? Because it’s cold? Because they like each other?”

Percival snorted. “They have yet to admit that they do like each other.”

“I’m sure they do though. Maybe they have finally realised it, now that they were literally stuck in their tent for a day?”

“You’re just mad that you lost that bloody bet.”

“No.” Gwaine pouted. “Maybe. A little. But I swear, there is some chemistry between them. And they will both admit it before the end of the year, trust me.”

Percival just shook his head. “Gwaine?”

“Yes?”

“Go to sleep.”


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little late, I was busy last night :)

Merlin rubbed his cold hands together. “God, I’m glad that the storm is not as bad as it was this morning.”

“Yes, Lancelot and Elyan will be glad that they won’t have to get new samples.” Arthur glanced at Merlin, but his tent mate was lying on his back, eyes closed, and seemed to be drifting off already. Maybe he could risk it and take out his diary…

“Oh, yeah. True.” Merlin yawned. “God, it’s not even late but I’m so tired already.”

“Well, go to sleep then. We’ll have to work in the morning, after all.” Arthur searched for his biro as discreetly as possible. “I’ll go to sleep soon, too.”

“Mhh… good night, Arthur.”

“Good night,” he replied as innocent as possible. Then he retrieved his diary from under his makeshift pillow and started writing.

> _29 th November_
> 
> We have been trapped inside our tent by the storm for the past day, but the weather tomorrow will be better. I am positively surprised, Merlin didn’t try to kill me. No, honestly, it was quite nice. We talked a lot. About Shakespeare at first, and later about Tolkien, then about Beowulf… I didn’t know that Merlin, too, had taken English literature as a minor, but to be honest I shouldn’t be surprised. He knows a lot and is really passionate about it. He told me that he went for science because of the better job perspectives but still ended up at university, so now he wonders if a degree in literature wouldn’t have been better.
> 
> I almost told him that I was glad he went for geophysics because I wouldn’t have met him otherwise. Well, maybe I will be able to tell him one day, but for now –

“Arthur?”

He nearly had a heart attack, but tried not to look too startled when he turned around. “Merlin! I thought you were sleeping!” God, he could already feel his cheeks heating up. Desperately he tried to hide his diary beneath his pillow, but there was no use.

“What are you writing?”

“Nothing.” Everything.

“I’m sorry, I don’t mean to be too intrusive.” Merlin shrugged. “You don’t have to tell me, of course.”

Arthur sighed. It didn’t matter anymore now. “It’s my diary.” ‘Please don’t laugh at me,’ he added silently.

“Oh, that’s nice.” Merlin’s smile was genuine and not mocking. “I used to have one, too. But I somehow lost the motivation a few years ago.” He laughed. “It’s so cringe to read your thoughts from years back sometimes, but it’s still nice.”

“Yes. It’s nice.” Arthur’s heart was racing, he could hear his own pulse thrumming in his ears. “I think I’ll go to sleep now,” he added quickly. He didn’t really want to embarrass himself further. What if he accidentally told Merlin more about what he had written? He could finish his entry tomorrow. “Good night, Merlin.”

“Good night, Arthur. Sleep well.”


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The idea for this chapter came from a lovely scientist friend of mine <3 if you read this, please know that I dedicated this chapter to you <3
> 
> also everything that's even remotely scientific is basically copy-pasted from the Wikipedia article about love XD just so you know. It might still be incorrect, I take no responsibility XD

“Arthur?” Lancelot, who was crouched down next to him in the snow, whispered as to not disturb the penguins they were watching through their spyglasses.

“Hm?”

“Did you know that there are gay penguins?”

Arthur side-eyed Lancelot suspiciously. “Why?”

“Did you?”

“Yes, I’ve read a few articles. But why are you telling me about gay penguins now?”

Lancelot shrugged. “I don’t know. Here are penguins. You are gay. The connection was easy.”

“All right, but what was the reason you told me?” Arthur tried not to sound too annoyed. Whatever Lancelot was implying, he was not sure if he liked the direction in which this was going.

“I don’t know. It just made me think of you. Watching these penguins. That’s all.”

“Sure.” Arthur raised an eyebrow but returned his attention back to the penguins.

For a while, they watched the birds quietly. Then Lancelot spoke again.

“But you do know that it shows that the asopressin in your ventral pallidum and the oxytocin in the nucleus accumbens and paraventricular hypothalamic nucleus are showing?”

Arthur put down his glass. “What the actual fuck, Lancelot? Please, speak English. I’m not a biologist.”

Lancelot chuckled. “Your attachment behaviour.”

“Who might I possibly be attached to? You?”

“Oh, no, “Lancelot shook his head. “Merlin, of course.”

“Merlin.” Arthur now raised both eyebrows. “Why would it be Merlin.”

“You’re not as subtle as you think you are. But I mean, that’s none of my business. Just see that your trace amines aren’t getting too active without Merlin’s consent.”

“I don’t even want to know what that means.” Arthur rolled his eyes. “Please, for the love of god, tell me that Elyan over there is not giving Merlin the same talk.”

“Oh, don’t worry, he’s more decent.” Lancelot grinned at him. “He wouldn’t dare. Also, Merlin isn’t as lovestruck as you are. Well, not yet.”

“Not yet?” Arthur hated himself a little for the hope that flared up inside his heart.

“Not yet. I mean, no one knows what’s going to happen. But I think you two penguins might get a chance, eventually. Just what I think, of course.”

“You think I should, I don’t know, ask him out?” Arthur clutched the spyglass with his gloved hands.

“I don’t know, can you live with him in one tent if he says no?”

Arthur bit his lips. “I think I will have to.”

After that, they watched the penguins in silence.


	20. Chapter 20

On the 13th December Merlin found the time to call Hunith again. His mother was overjoyed when she picked up the phone.

“Merlin, my boy! How are you?”

“Mum! I’m so glad I got to call you again before Christmas.”

“I am glad, too.”

Her voice sounded so warm and loving that Merlin immediately felt hugged by her. God, how much he missed his mum, their easy conversations, the simple possibility to call her whenever he needed her comfort, her council or her assistance. Here he had his team and he enjoyed working with all of them, even with Arthur by now. But Arthur… something about him… made him weirdly nervous. Not that he would ever admit it though.

“So, what are your plans for Christmas?” he asked his mum, trying his best not to sound suspicious.

“Oh, nothing special. Maybe Will and Freya will come over for dinner.”

“That’s nice, so you won’t be all alone. I’m sorry I can’t be there, really.”

“Don’t worry, my boy, I’ll be fine.” Merlin could practically hear her smile through the phone. “And what about you? Do you guys have any plans?”

“Not much. It’s not like we could do much around here, you know?” He tried to laugh. “We’ll probably sit together, have some tea, Lancelot will make some fancy dinner…”

“And what about Arthur?”

For a second Merlin thought his heart would stop. “What about him?”

“Well, how is it going between you? You’re not complaining anymore. So I guess you’re getting on better by now?”

“I mean, better is… yeah, you could call it that, I guess. Better. Things are better between us. He’s not quite as annoying as he used to be.” He tried his best to sound as casual as possible, but there was no way to possibly fool his mother.

“Oh, you like him!”

“Well, yes, maybe in a friendship-kinda way, I do,” he admitted grumpily.

“I’m glad you made a new friend, really!”

“Mh, yeah, me too.” And he was. But he wasn’t sure if this was all true. If he really wanted Arthur to be just a friend. Yet at the same time he was too scared to really think about it, at least for the time being.

Silence filled the line for a minute until Hunith yawned and told her son: “Listen, Merlin, my love, I think I should go to sleep, it’s quite late and when you don’t have anything else to say…”

“Yes, sure, go to sleep, mum. I’m glad we could speak.”

“Me too, my boy. Merry Christmas to all of your team, and a happy new year, in case we don’t hear each other before.”

“To you too, mum. I love you.”

“I love you too, dear.”

Then she hung up. Merlin was left alone with his thoughts once again and he started wondering if maybe he should stop calling his mother when every time it made his feelings for Arthur change. He wasn’t yet sure if he liked it that way.

With a nervous smile on his lips Merlin went back to their tent.


	21. Chapter 21

A week later Merlin was certain that his feelings for Arthur were more than for a friend. He was crushing, and crushing hard if the nervous fluttering of his heart every time Arthur smiled at him was anything to go by. Something told him that he should be careful if he didn’t want this to end in awkwardness and both of them getting hurt, but he couldn’t help it.

He couldn’t help staring at Arthur while he made tea for them. He also stared at him while they ate and especially while he wrote in his diary. Well, he tried not to stare too obviously, but somehow he was sure that Arthur had noticed it by now. That something was off.

If he was quite honest with himself, he would die for a look into Arthur’s diary. To see how his friend was thinking about him. If maybe, just maybe, he was feeling the same. it wasn’t likely, but that didn’t stop Merlin from dreaming and hoping. Maybe, when they were on the ship back home, maybe then he could risk it and ask Arthur for a date. It wouldn’t be quite as awkward then if Arthur said no.

This evening, after Arthur had put away his diary and Merlin his book, they chatted a little before they went to sleep. Somehow they brought up Gwaine and then they were talking about the pride flag incident from almost two months ago. That was when Merlin realised that he hadn’t even apologised properly for this incident, or rather his reaction.

“Hey, Arthur, you know, I’m still sorry about how I… well, for shouting at you for no real reason. I shouldn’t have reacted that way. It was only a harmless prank, but somehow it really… I don’t know. I guess I didn’t like the possible implication that we could be… together. At that time, that is,” he added quickly, but Arthur already asked:

“Would that be so bad? To be together with me?”

Merlin felt himself blush and just hoped that Arthur was staring at the ceiling just like he was. “No… not at all. But at that time I found the very idea horrible. I’m sorry. I’m still sorry for how I treated you. I shouldn’t have been such an ass.” Oh god, had he really just said that it wouldn’t be bad at all to be in a relationship with Arthur? Could he be any less subtle?

Luckily, Arthur either didn’t seem to notice his faux pas or he chose to ignore it. “Really, don’t worry about it anymore. It’s past, we’re getting on now, and I actually enjoy talking to you. I’m glad we’re friends now.”

“Yes… me too. I’m glad you’re my friend, Arthur.”

Then they fell silent, and after a whispered “Good night!” Merlin closed his eyes and tried to sleep. Arthur only murmured something intelligible, he seemed to be thinking. Well, that wasn’t Merlin’s problem, he was tired and trying to forget that he had just made a fool of himself by telling Arthur that he found the idea of dating him ‘not bad at all’.

After a while though, he heard Arthur whisper: “Merlin? What do you mean with ‘not at all’?”

But Merlin pretended to be asleep. After another few minutes he heard Arthur’s breaths even out. Soon they were both sleeping soundly.


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> we have now officially caught up with the real life dates, yay XD

At breakfast the next morning Arthur couldn’t help but throw curious looks in Merlin’s direction. He was still not entirely sure what to make of Merlin’s statement last night, but somehow it had given him the last bit of courage he needed to finally follow Lancelot’s idea and ask Merlin out. He would do it today, no question, of course he would, he only had to wait for the perfect moment now.

Before said moment could occur, Merlin left the tent to go and pee, but he returned only seconds later. “Arthur? Did you do it this time?”

In confusion Arthur looked up from his breakfast. “Did I do what?”

Merlin raised an eyebrow. “The pride flag is back.”

“Oh.” He blushed. “Well, I… maybe, I might have… put it there… when I went outside earlier.”

“Oh.” Now it was Merlin’s time to blush. “So you…”

“I mean, I heard what you said last night, that you wouldn’t mind being in a relationship with me, and actually… me neither.” His hands were sweaty. He hoped that his fingers weren’t shaking. “I’ve been crushing on you, Merlin, all the time. I wanted to ask you out.”

With a huff Merlin flopped down on his bed. “That’s… that’s a shame, because I would really like to take you out on a date now, but nothing’s open round here.”

A laugh escaped Arthur’s throat. “Yeah, that’s… a shame, really.” He looked at Merlin and couldn’t hold back the grin that was slowly spreading across his whole face. “So, you want to give this a try?”

Merlin bit his lips, thought for a moment, then he nodded slowly. “Yes, I think I do. We should try it.” Then, he smiled at Arthur, his small and adorable smile that always made Arthur’s heart melt. “But if we’re dating now, does that mean that I get to keep the biscuits on my side of the tent?”

Arthur raised an eyebrow. “No. It only means that you’re now allowed to fight for them with other means as well.”

> _22 nd December_
> 
> I still cannot fully believe that this day… this entire day has just actually happened. Everything is true and real and… I just can’t.
> 
> Merlin said he wouldn’t mind being in a relationship with me. I gathered all my courage and put the pride flag back on our tent that I had sneaked from Gwaine after the first incident. I told Merlin that I was crushing on him, and I asked him for a date. And he said yes!
> 
> We were late for work this morning, but for once in my life I can say that I honestly didn’t care. Merlin didn’t care either, apparently, because he only winked at me and gave me another one of his cheeky grins that I love so much. Well, and the reason why we were late… I only hope that none of the others are suspecting anything.
> 
> We were late because he started kissing me.
> 
> I cannot even put into words what I felt when he kissed me. My heart was beating like crazy. I bet my whole body was shaking, but he didn’t care. He just pulled me close and asked if he could kiss me. And when I said yes, he did. His lips are so soft and so warm and so wonderful that I want to feel them on my skin all day. If only I could! His hair is so much softer than I could possibly have imagined. And his hands… why does he have such beautiful hands? They make me wish I could draw.
> 
> Sadly, I am a scientist and definitely not an artist. I hope I will even manage to finish Merlin’s small Christmas present, that it will surprise him and that he will like it.
> 
> But I think I’ll have to stop now, Merlin has been cleaning the dishes from dinner and he has just finished and is now looking at me all expectantly. Let’s see if I can get some more kisses before bed.


	23. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, life became busy, that's why this chapter is later than usual :c

“Did you bring in the champagne?” Percival looked up from the pot in which he was cooking lentil soup when his boyfriend entered the tent.

Gwaine took off his woollen hat and shook his long hair. “Sure I did. Do you really think I would forget this important task?” He sat down next to Percival on his bed and kissed his cheek.

Percival only gave him a quick smile before he returned his attention to the soup. Gwaine sniffed the air. “What are you making, chef? This smells divine!”

“Oh, stop exaggerating, it’s just some lentils with broth and potatoes and a bit of seasoning.”

“See, that makes the difference,” Gwaine grinned, but suddenly his face darkened. “No ham?” He pouted.

Percival shook his head. “I wanted to save some for tomorrow, for Lancelot’s Christmas pasta sauce. And some more for Elyan’s birthday in three weeks. We don’t have that much left.”

“Sad life.” Gwaine sighed. “They didn’t tell me about the ham shortage when I signed up for this expedition. But it looks like I will have to get myself another snack tonight.” He poked Percival’s ribs playfully.

Percival swatted his hand away. “Can’t you wait until after dinner, you horny bastard?”

“Man, you really are no fun today.”

Percival raised an eyebrow. “Wait until after dinner and I’ll change your mind.”

“Oh yeah?” Gwaine’s cheeky grin returned.

“Yeah. And now let me finish this soup, I don’t want to burn it. Why don’t you go and help Elyan and Mordred with the Christmas preparations for now?”

“They are mostly done. Plus Morgana has started helping them now and she is as petty about the decorations as Mordred is. You really don’t want to witness this war out there, trust me.”

“Well, then you will have to die of boredom and train your patience for the next ten minutes,” Percival grinned. “Or you could go over and visit Merlin and Arthur?”

“Oh, no, thank you very much. After they put the pride flag back up outside their tent, and especially after the definitely not suspicious noises we could hear from their tent last night… I’d rather not disturb our two lovebirds,” He wrapped his arms around Percival’s shoulders, “and distract you instead.”

Percival, with a smile, turned his head and kissed Gwaine on the lips. “All right, go ahead then. As long as I don’t burn the soup.”

And he continued stirring his pot while Gwaine kissed him from behind all over his cheeks, his neck and his shoulders. With a happy sigh Percival leaned back into his arms He would be forever grateful for his adorable boyfriend, and he really hoped that Merlin and Arthur would find similar happiness and trust, now that it seemed like they were actually in a relationship.


	24. Chapter 24

It was Christmas Eve and the ten scientists were sitting all huddled together in Lancelot and Elyan’s tent, eating pasta with Lancelot’s world famous sauce and drinking the Champagne Gwaine had brought with him for this occasion. Everyone noticed, but nobody mentioned that Merlin and Arthur were sitting suspiciously close together that evening. Their hands and thighs touched from time to time, but their friends seemed to be bothered more by this than Merlin and Arthur themselves.

Nobody mentioned it though, until Arthur accidentally called Merlin “dear” and immediately fell silent. Everyone’s eyes turned to them.

Leon blinked slowly. “So, does that mean… you have finally found a way to settle your disagreements?”

Merlin shrugged. “I guess?”

Gwen smiled brightly. “I’m so happy for you!”

Lancelot, who was sitting at Merlin’s other side, patted his shoulder proudly.

And Gwaine looked both of them straight in the eyes and said: “I mean, I really do appreciate it that you have found your other half and all that. But would you mind keeping the noise down a little at night? Other people are trying to sleep.”

Merlin and Arthur just stared at him, then looked at one another, one redder than the other, while around them their friends coughed awkwardly or chuckled quietly.

“I… we were just… Merlin…” Arthur was struggling for words, so he was kind of glad when Merlin spoke up:

“We were talking about poetry.”

“Poetry?” Leon, both eyebrows raised to his hairline, shook his head in disbelief.

Next to him, Gwaine nodded in feigned seriousness. “All right. We will leave you to your poetry then, shall we?”

“That was very nice, but also awkward,” Merlin sighed once they were back in their own tent.

“Oh yes,” Arthur agreed. “But well, look at the bright side. At least we don’t have to awkwardly wait for the right moment to tell all of them about it.”

“A small benefit..” Merlin yawned and stretched.

“Are you going to bed yet?” Arthur asked.

“Hm, maybe, why? Do you have any plans for tonight?” Merlin winked.

Arthur blushed a little. “Not really, only… a small Christmas present for you.”

“For me?”

“Yes. Don’t worry, it’s nothing much, just something I wrote for you,” he added quickly before pulling out the loose pages that he had ripped from his diary. “I thought you might like it.”

Merlin read the first paragraph and his eyes grew wide. “Oh my god, Arthur you did… you really did… god, I love it! Thank you so much!” He got up only to sit down on Arthur’s bed, and thus, cuddled up next to his boyfriend, with Arthur’s arms wrapped around him, he started reading his Christmas present.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whatever Arthur might have written for Merlin's Christmas present will be revealed in another fic that I will link here XD
> 
> Update: the link is at the very bottom, "Works inspired by this one", _Not Born Of Woman_ :D

**Author's Note:**

> If you enjoyed this, please leave me a commend and Kudos :D

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Not Born Of Woman](https://archiveofourown.org/works/28326408) by [SwanFloatieKnight](https://archiveofourown.org/users/SwanFloatieKnight/pseuds/SwanFloatieKnight)




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